I plan to start posting in this thing again. I have been a lazy slack-off for too long and the world needs to hear my thoughts *trumpets sound in the background* l-o-freakin'-l. *laughs* yeah, the people who once read this thing probably abandoned it ages ago. but i do not mind. the best way to write well is to write often. 

So, wayward audience. Those few brave souls who probably happened upon these epistles in a tragic Stumble accident and are now frantically jabbing the back button.

Things have happened.

La Bein-amie and I are no longer together, so I suppose I've lost the right to call him that. Colin and I decided, with the catalyst of my emotional nuerosis, that we should end things on a high note; a high note being a good relationship before the thermonuclear meltdowns of bickering and accuations. Not that I would, I tend to sulk more than pick fights. Sullenness, thy name is Silver. We, neither one of us, are happy, exactly, everything, even if it might be a good idea, is going to hurt like hades if it involves a relationship, but we both feel good about this, for now. We very clearly and meticulously set out what was friendship and what was relationship. We still talk everyday, still IM still e-mail, still planning on the trip to New York. But we're not dating. I am actaully sot of happy about the celebacy thing. I think it will help me clear my head, not that there is an option on that one, Silvers DO NOT go outside of their apartments on a regular basis. We DO NOT EVER make moves. We are apparently, according to a former co-worker who fancied himself a bit of an expert on human interaction, surrounded by an aura of "unapproachability" and I am going to ramp the FUCK out of that.

*deep breath*


My sister hasn't been supportive. Memorable quotes include "come cry to me when you've had a REAL relationship" and "you didn't even want the relationship, so why are you whining?" I'm not sure I understand this, but who am I to judge, I'm not the one engaged, I guess that's what really counts.

I would apologise for this. Part of me still wants to say "Just kidding! Do over!" But the issues will still be there.

I am glad we are going to try to stay friends. I would have really missed him if not for that. He is funny and kind and a tiny bit clueless sometimes, but at least he understands me, at least a little. He likes comic books and sci-fi and B&W photography, swords and frozen yogurt. I want this to work out. I want to be the kind of friends that stupid sitcoms are based on. I want to pull off what few people ever pull off: the significant other to best friend role change. And who knows? Maybe this just wasn't our time. We both want to option later down the road, in five or ten or even one year, of maybe resuming where we left off. Maybe one day I won't be a crazy anti-relationship psycho.  Maybe one day he'll start picking up his socks (j/k).

Maybe
Maybe
Maybe